Bucky Barnes ★ The Winter Soldier (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cryogenics) wrote2015-03-03 03:20 pm
cryogenics) wrote2015-03-03 03:20 pm
Shades of the Past | Bucky & Isaac
Bucky didn't need enhanced werewolf hearing to know that Isaac was having nightmares. He was, unfortunately, very familiar with the sounds of distress that came with them. Not because of other people, but because of his own nightmares. Considering he'd only been bitten barely a few weeks ago, he didn't really have control of most of his new abilities yet, anyway, and he wouldn't have been able to hone in on any sound on purpose.
He could hear Isaac talking in his sleep, though Bucky couldn't make out most of what he was saying. There was just one thing that was clear, over and over, each time more desperate than before. "...it's not my fault…it's not my fault..."
He hadn't known Isaac very long before they’d hit the road together, only a few days, but the subject of his father had come up once or twice in conversation. Derek had mentioned it first, said they might get along because they both knew what it was like to be hurt by someone who was supposed to protect you. For years, Pierce had been the only constant in Bucky's life, almost like a father figure, though Pierce hadn't even treated him like a human being, let alone like family.
It was hard to muffle the sounds when they were sleeping in the same room with only a few feet in between their beds, and when Isaac’s sleep talking dissolved into sobbing, Bucky heard it no matter how quietly he cried. He wasn't sure what to do about it, but he couldn't just lie there in the dark all night and wait for Isaac to cry himself to sleep, again. The sounds were heartbreaking, and they only had each other right now. Bucky couldn't let him suffer; he was only a boy.
Taking a deep breath, Bucky rolled over to face the other bed. "Isaac?" He said quietly.
Isaac went completely silent, and even with the limited light in the motel room, Bucky saw the way his shoulders tensed. His back was to Bucky, so he was unable to see his face, but he could read Isaac's body language well enough. It was the same way Bucky responded when he thought he was in trouble.
"Are you alright?" Bucky asked.
Isaac sniffled. "Yes." He paused for a moment. "No." He wasn't sure, and he didn't know if he could get away with lying to Bucky. "I woke you up?"
"It's alright." Bucky didn't mind. He'd had enough sleepless nights of his own to know, at least in some way, what it was like.
“Sorry.”
Isaac didn't have to apologize, but Bucky wasn't sure how well it would work to try and convince him of that. “I have a lot of nightmares,” he said quietly, “I used to think it made me weak, but it doesn't. There's no reason to be ashamed for the way you feel about things."
Listening quietly, Isaac rolled over to face Bucky, wiping away his tears. He didn't say anything, but it was a start, and Bucky would take it as a good sign.
"You know what I found also helps?" Bucky continued, "Not sleeping alone." Having someone else there, a warm body, a familiar face, helped him know when he was really awake. Maybe it would help Isaac too.
“Seriously?” Isaac stared at him, unable to tell if Bucky was actually-what? Inviting him over to cuddle?
Bucky hesitated for a second, nearly losing his nerve. “Derek did it for me…” Well, that was partially true. Derek had also done it to get Bucky used to physical contact, so he wouldn't punch someone out just for patting him on the shoulder. Waking up screaming in the middle of the night had been a good reason to give it a try, too.
"Derek. Slept in the same bed with you." Isaac sounded skeptical, and Bucky really couldn't blame him. Derek had acted completely different once they'd gotten to Beacon Hills. He'd gone from open to guarded. Bitter, even.
"If you don't want to, I completely understand," Bucky said.
"I didn't say I didn't want to," Isaac said, "I just wanted to make sure you weren't mocking me."
Bucky scrunched up his face. "I wouldn't do that." But he understood. He'd worried at first that people would mock him for being so much different (damaged, a broken weapon) but no one had. No one who mattered, at least.
Isaac wasn't used to people caring, but it seemed like Bucky did. Vaguely, he wondered how much of it was just because they were pack. He decided that maybe it wasn't important right now and shrugged, sliding out of bed. "Move over."
Managing a rare smile, Bucky scooted backwards to make room for Isaac, pulling back the covers as he went. He nearly fell off the other edge of the bed making sure that he wouldn't crowd Isaac, and quietly watched him climb in. They weren't even touching, but that was alright if Isaac was comfortable with that. Bucky watched him for a long moment and then rolled over so they were back to back. This way he could keep watch and make sure nothing happened.
"James?" Isaac said, breaking the long silence that followed.
"Yeah?" He said.
"Thank you."
Bucky smiled then, a real smile that no one could see. "You're welcome."
Sometime during the night Isaac migrated across the bed, and in the morning Bucky would wake to find him curled up against his back like a little puppy.
He could hear Isaac talking in his sleep, though Bucky couldn't make out most of what he was saying. There was just one thing that was clear, over and over, each time more desperate than before. "...it's not my fault…it's not my fault..."
He hadn't known Isaac very long before they’d hit the road together, only a few days, but the subject of his father had come up once or twice in conversation. Derek had mentioned it first, said they might get along because they both knew what it was like to be hurt by someone who was supposed to protect you. For years, Pierce had been the only constant in Bucky's life, almost like a father figure, though Pierce hadn't even treated him like a human being, let alone like family.
It was hard to muffle the sounds when they were sleeping in the same room with only a few feet in between their beds, and when Isaac’s sleep talking dissolved into sobbing, Bucky heard it no matter how quietly he cried. He wasn't sure what to do about it, but he couldn't just lie there in the dark all night and wait for Isaac to cry himself to sleep, again. The sounds were heartbreaking, and they only had each other right now. Bucky couldn't let him suffer; he was only a boy.
Taking a deep breath, Bucky rolled over to face the other bed. "Isaac?" He said quietly.
Isaac went completely silent, and even with the limited light in the motel room, Bucky saw the way his shoulders tensed. His back was to Bucky, so he was unable to see his face, but he could read Isaac's body language well enough. It was the same way Bucky responded when he thought he was in trouble.
"Are you alright?" Bucky asked.
Isaac sniffled. "Yes." He paused for a moment. "No." He wasn't sure, and he didn't know if he could get away with lying to Bucky. "I woke you up?"
"It's alright." Bucky didn't mind. He'd had enough sleepless nights of his own to know, at least in some way, what it was like.
“Sorry.”
Isaac didn't have to apologize, but Bucky wasn't sure how well it would work to try and convince him of that. “I have a lot of nightmares,” he said quietly, “I used to think it made me weak, but it doesn't. There's no reason to be ashamed for the way you feel about things."
Listening quietly, Isaac rolled over to face Bucky, wiping away his tears. He didn't say anything, but it was a start, and Bucky would take it as a good sign.
"You know what I found also helps?" Bucky continued, "Not sleeping alone." Having someone else there, a warm body, a familiar face, helped him know when he was really awake. Maybe it would help Isaac too.
“Seriously?” Isaac stared at him, unable to tell if Bucky was actually-what? Inviting him over to cuddle?
Bucky hesitated for a second, nearly losing his nerve. “Derek did it for me…” Well, that was partially true. Derek had also done it to get Bucky used to physical contact, so he wouldn't punch someone out just for patting him on the shoulder. Waking up screaming in the middle of the night had been a good reason to give it a try, too.
"Derek. Slept in the same bed with you." Isaac sounded skeptical, and Bucky really couldn't blame him. Derek had acted completely different once they'd gotten to Beacon Hills. He'd gone from open to guarded. Bitter, even.
"If you don't want to, I completely understand," Bucky said.
"I didn't say I didn't want to," Isaac said, "I just wanted to make sure you weren't mocking me."
Bucky scrunched up his face. "I wouldn't do that." But he understood. He'd worried at first that people would mock him for being so much different (damaged, a broken weapon) but no one had. No one who mattered, at least.
Isaac wasn't used to people caring, but it seemed like Bucky did. Vaguely, he wondered how much of it was just because they were pack. He decided that maybe it wasn't important right now and shrugged, sliding out of bed. "Move over."
Managing a rare smile, Bucky scooted backwards to make room for Isaac, pulling back the covers as he went. He nearly fell off the other edge of the bed making sure that he wouldn't crowd Isaac, and quietly watched him climb in. They weren't even touching, but that was alright if Isaac was comfortable with that. Bucky watched him for a long moment and then rolled over so they were back to back. This way he could keep watch and make sure nothing happened.
"James?" Isaac said, breaking the long silence that followed.
"Yeah?" He said.
"Thank you."
Bucky smiled then, a real smile that no one could see. "You're welcome."
Sometime during the night Isaac migrated across the bed, and in the morning Bucky would wake to find him curled up against his back like a little puppy.